Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand your emotions and the emotions of those around you.
When you can recognize them and control them, you can use them to calm, connect and influence. But how do you put that into practice?
Justin Bariso, author of “EQ, Applied: The Real World Guide to Emotional Intelligence” has created a handy list he calls the “10 commandments” that can make emotions work for you, not against you:
I. Thou shalt ponder thy feelings.
Emotional Intelligence begins by learning to ask the right questions, like “What is my current mood, and how might that influence my decisions today?”
II. Thou shalt learn from other perspectives.
When listening to others, don’t focus on right or wrong; rather, work to understand how perceptions differ, and the reasons behind this.
III. Thou shalt learn to “pause.”
“The pause” is as simple as taking a moment to stop and think before you act or speak.
IV. Thou shalt practice empathy.
Instead of judging or labeling others, work hard to see things through their eyes.
V. Thou shalt praise others.
By focusing on the good in others, and then specifically telling them what you appreciate, you inspire others to be the best version of themselves.
VI. Thou shalt apologize.
“I’m sorry” can be the two most difficult words to say. But they can also be the most powerful.
VII. Thou shalt forgive.
Refusing to forgive is like leaving a knife in a wound–you never give yourself the chance to heal.
VIII. Thou shalt not freeze others in time.
Refuse the temptation to judge others too quickly, without considering context and extenuating circumstances. Remember that everyone has a bad day (or even a bad year).
IX. Thou shalt control thy thoughts.
When you experience a negative situation, you may not have much control over your feelings. As the saying goes: “You can’t stop a bird from landing on your head. But you can keep it from building a nest.”
X. Thou shalt not stop learning.
Emotional intelligence is about continuous learning and growth.
Higher emotional intelligence makes you happier and healthier, at home and work.
Build it, apply it – and enjoy it.
Have a great week.
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