How to have better conversations — with anyone — using three magic words.
Being a good conversationalist is a valuable skill for any setting – your office party, a client meeting, or even an annual review.
Beyond weather conditions, recent meals, and minor maladies, it’s important to connect with people through meaningful verbal exchanges. Good, flowing conversations put people at ease, and reduce anxiety which makes for a much more enjoyable and productive experience no matter where you are.
But these moments can be difficult to start and keep going. Sometime we don’t know where to begin with a stranger or casual acquaintance. And even with people we know well, we may feel like we’ve hit a wall of mundanity.
According to a recent post by Jeremy McCarthy on The Psychology of Wellbeing blog, there is a simple and easy-to-remember fix for stalls in conversation: “Tell me more.”
This tiny phrase puts you in the right posture for almost any conversation with family, friends, colleagues, or clients – especially with clients! McCarthy writes:
This technique forces you to listen to another person with a state of curiosity and try to find the thread of the conversation that they want to have. Anything that another person says is an opening on a topic that they want to talk about. And even if the topic is not in an area of mutual passion, it gives you something to build on. By giving the person more space to share their thoughts about any subject they’ve broached, you open up more opportunities to find areas of mutual interest.
“Tell me more” is a simpler way of thinking about good response strategies and you don’t have to use the exact phrase. Try these, too:
“How did that make you feel?”
“What was that like?”
“What was the best part?”
“How did that happen?” or “What led up to that?”
“Now what?” or “What happens next?”
It’s a great reminder to listen more, inquire more, and learn more. Give people the space and time to share ideas and interests, and give yourself the opportunity to make better connections and build stronger relationships.
Have a great week.
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