With laptops, tablets, and smartphones seemingly never more than a few inches from our noses, the art of conversation is a skill that’s gotten more difficult to practice.
The digital distractions around us make it harder to listen, engage, and participate as fully as we should.
Melissa Daimler is head of global learning and organizational development at Twitter and she says that while Twitter’s whole business model is about facilitating short bursts of communications, it’s the focused, longer conversations that nourish and motivate us. And listening well is the essential element of more productive conversations.
Listening is an interpersonal skill that creates an environment of safety when done well. Daimler calls the best type of listening 360 Listening:
“This is where the magic happens. You’re not only listening to what the person is saying, but how they’re saying it — and, even better, what they’re not saying, like when they get energized about certain topics or when they pause and talk around others.”
Listening creates the time and space needed to internalize ideas and do good work.
So how can we improve our listening? Try these tips this week:
Look people in the eye. Put down your phone when you’re in meetings. Close your laptop. See if you’re more energized about work and the people with whom you work.
Create space in your day. Stop booking yourself solid with back to back meetings. Build in some space, even just 15-30 minutes between meetings, so you can really focus and not be thinking about what’s next.
Ask more questions. Next time a colleague or employee asks for advice, ask at least one question before answering. Clarify intentions. They are probably just looking for validation of their approach, instead of some grand solution from you.
Daimler wraps up with this final thought:
“Even in a world of limitless, instantaneous, global connection, the most powerful mode of communication is that of two people listening.”
Have a great week.
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