The evidence is clear: You get more when you give more. But you have to do it right.
We all receive a steady stream of requests daily for general assistance in the form of ideas, money, connections, resources, and time. These requests come from friends, family, and colleagues, and most of us want to help. The question is how to give generously of time, talent, and treasure, and also keep it productive and enjoyable.
Adam Grant has studied this very dilemma in depth. He is the author of “Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success.” Grant is the youngest tenured professor at Wharton and has been recognized as Wharton’s single-highest-rated teacher.
In his book, Grant outlines three main postures of social interaction. There are givers, takers and matchers. His research found that givers are usually the most successful individuals at the highest levels. These are people who give without expecting anything in return. Interestingly, givers are often found to be some of the poorest performers in organizations as well.
“The worst performers and the best performers are givers; takers and matchers are more likely to land in the middle.
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Givers dominate the bottom and the top of the success ladder. Across occupations, if you examine the link between reciprocity styles and success, the givers are more likely to become champs – not only chumps.”
It turns out that the best givers are the ones that have the best understanding of what generosity is, and is not. Successful givers are able to give more strategically and productively, and overcome the potentially damaging attributes of timidness, availability and empathy. These character traits are the ones that often sink good givers.
Givers can overcome timidity, Grant says, by learning to act as “connecting agents” to advocate for others while negotiating for themselves. As for availability, they can set boundaries on when, how, and whom to help. And they can strive to help other gain perspective and take corrective action, rather than simply over-emphathize and be the fixer that solves the problem.
No matter the drawbacks or pitfalls of being a giver, it’s still the best way to be if you can since the benefits are exponential. The entire organization benefits from high-performing givers.
“Givers, takers, and matchers all can – and do – achieve success. But there’s something distinctive that happens when givers succeed: it spreads and cascades. When takers win, there’s usually someone else who loses. Research shows that people tend to envy successful takers and look for ways to knock them down a notch. In contrast, when [givers] win, people are rooting for them and supporting them, rather than gunning for them. Givers succeed in a way that creates a ripple effect, enhancing the success of people around them. You’ll see that the difference lies in how giver success creates value, instead of just claiming it.”
Grant is a character and, of course, a great giver. Previously, he was a record-setting advertising director at Let’s Go Publications, an All-American springboard diver, and a professional magician. If you’d like to find out more about him, the New York Times did a fascinating feature about Grant and his body of work a few weeks ago.
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