Great communication isn’t just about speaking clearly — it’s about listening intentionally as well. Yet, most of us are never formally trained in how to listen well.
The result? Missed signals, misunderstood meanings, and weakened trust.
Debra Schifrin is a consultant and lecturer at Stanford Graduate School of Business, and outlines four practical listening techniques that anyone can master. Here they are:
Listen until the end
One of the most common listening traps is interrupting, whether to offer advice, share a personal story, or jump to conclusions. Instead, stay present and fully engaged in what the speaker is saying. This allows space for the speaker’s full message and meaning to emerge, leading to better understanding and more relevant responses.
Listen to summarize, not to solve
The impulse to fix things is strong. But often, people want to feel heard more than they want immediate solutions. Listening to summarize — by paraphrasing and confirming what’s been said — shows that you’re genuinely trying to understand. This technique builds trust, opens the door to better collaboration, and ensures that your response aligns with the real issue.
Balance relationship and content
Every conversation has two layers: the emotional connection with the other person, and the information or problem being shared. Good listeners recognize this duality and adjust their focus accordingly. Leading with empathy strengthens relationships, while focusing on the content helps drive solutions. Striking a balance between these two modes is key to being both supportive and effective.
Listen for values
Sometimes a small complaint masks a deeper concern. Whether it’s frustration with a broken printer or tension with a client, you should listen for the values beneath the words — like respect, achievement, or belonging. Identifying and honoring these values helps you better understand what motivates others and how to support them in meaningful ways.
These techniques go well beyond surface-level communication which is key to deepening trust, boosting morale, and contributing to a culture where people feel genuinely seen and heard. Listening is a skill, and one worth practicing every day. As Schifrin puts it so well, great leaders don’t just speak with clarity; they listen with purpose.
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