Saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time, in the wrong place is probably one of the most destructive and life-limiting mistakes any of us can make.
We embarrass ourselves and others. We react with extreme levels of emotion. We break bonds of trust and respect.
And these mistakes of saying or doing the wrong things at the wrong time usually stem from a momentary – but sometimes chronic – lack of self-awareness.
Jeremie Kubicek, author, leadership consultant, and founder of GiANTsays that the secret to leading a fulfilling life and career is being self-aware, and knowing yourself and your tendencies, so you can lead yourself first.
While Kubicek’s practice is primarily focused on leadership skills, I think his mission can work for all us – in leadership roles or not. Here are his words (with my edits/additions in parentheses:)
At the end of the day I want to be known as a leader (husband, father, friend, co-worker) worth following (leading/teaming with) who was constantly fighting for the highest possible good for those I lead (follow, support) and love.
Once you know yourself and can lead yourself, you can then connect with, work with, and lead others more productively and with fewer missteps.
But good self-awareness takes work and practice. Here are the fundamentals:
Be quiet and listen intently. Bite your tongue, look people in the eye, and listen to truly understand. Absorb each word as if your food, water and shelter depended on it – it does.
Pause and think it through. People with high self-awareness pause and understand how their words and actions might affect other people. They have a keen ability to put themselves in other peoples’ shoes.
Get tested and find a coach/mentor. Everyone is blind to certain aspects of their personality – strong and weak. Even the best executives and athletes need coaches to improve. Personality and strengths-finder assessments tell you were you stand and give clues on what you may need to work on.
Know yourself to lead yourself for better relationships, more opportunities, and increased happiness in the long run.
Have a great week.
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