Nagging negative thoughts are normal and to be expected.
We’re typically way more critical than complimentary of ourselves. Just try to remember the last time you gave yourself a pat on the back, instead of a kick in the pants.
Once the cycle of negative thinking begins, it becomes easier to perpetuate and more difficult to change.
Brain patterns become grooved. Just like hiking, you’re more inclined to stay on the beaten path rather than try to find a new one.
Elizabeth Bernstein wrote recently about several strategies for changing negative patterns in her article “Steps to Turn Off the Nagging Self-Doubt in Your Head” in the Wall Street Journal. Here are the highlights.
With intent and practice, you can create another path. Psychologists call the technique cognitive reappraisal. The result will be stronger neural networks devoted to positive thoughts, or a happier brain.
Here are the steps to making cognitive reappraisal work for you:
Be Aware. You need to know your thoughts to change them. Learn to notice when you are ruminating. Remind yourself that this is a waste of time.
Look for Supporting Evidence. Turn the negative thoughts into questions: “I am a loser? I fail at everything?” Then try to supply answers. You probably won’t find many.
Exaggerate the Thought. Imagine yourself as the Biggest Loser on Earth. Not true, right? Chuckle to yourself and move on.
Shift Lanes. Turn your mind immediately to something else. Have some go-to topics that your mind finds interesting: Think about a problem you need to solve at work, plan a vacation, walk yourself mentally though a skill in a hobby you love.
Practice, Practice, Practice. Your new thoughts won’t take hold over night. You’ve spent years being judgmental and critical of yourself. Those thoughts have very well-connected neural pathways.
Negative thoughts are natural.
Turning them off as quickly as possible will help you feel more positive and productive.
Have a great week.
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